Amazon Has Everything – Even Stuff You Don’t Need (But Will Definitely Buy Anyway)
Ever gone on Amazon for one thing and somehow ended up $100 poorer with a cart full of bizarre gadgets that will definitely change your life? Yeah, me too. Amazon is like a giant, digital black hole, sucking you in with “recommended for you” items that make absolutely no sense—but also, why do I suddenly need a glow-in-the-dark toilet seat? And because ShamelessPlugs.me is here to help (or at least enable), I’ve compiled a list of Amazon finds you never knew you needed but will probably buy anyway.
A Burrito Blanket – Because Who Doesn’t Want to Be Wrapped in a Giant Tortilla?
Ever wished you could physically become the snack that you are? Well, now you can! For the low price of dignity and common sense, you can buy a giant burrito blanket and live out your dreams of looking like Chipotle’s latest menu item.
Honestly, if you haven’t considered rolling yourself into a tortilla of warmth and regret, are you even living?
The “Nut Milking” Machine – No Further Explanation Needed
Yes, it exists. Yes, people are buying it. And yes, Amazon somehow lets people leave reviews like:
👉 “Works great, but I didn’t realize I needed almonds first.”
Now, I don’t know about you, but if I see a product called a Nut Milker, I have questions—and none of them will be answered in a way that makes me feel comfortable. But hey, if that’s your thing, go nuts.
(And if you buy one, please let me know what you’re actually doing with it. For research purposes. Obviously.)
The “Do Nothing” Button’s Evil Twin – The Useless Box
Ever wanted to spend real money on something designed to actively refuse you? Meet the Useless Box, the ultimate desk toy that exists purely to make you question your life choices.
How It Works:
1️⃣ You flip a switch.
2️⃣ The box turns itself off.
3️⃣ You feel personally attacked.
4️⃣ You do it again because why is this so addictive?!
It’s like having a tiny, passive-aggressive robot that only exists to defy you. If you enjoy mindless entertainment, pointless technology, and annoying your friends, this is the best (and worst) thing you’ll ever buy.
Shameless Plugs: Your Ultimate Shopping Enabler
Look, I’m not saying you need a burrito blanket, a nut-milking machine, or a Useless Box. But I am saying that if you do buy one, you should definitely click through ShamelessPlugs.me first.
Because if I’m going to waste money on ridiculous Amazon finds, I’d rather do it knowing I got a great deal—and that I wasn’t alone in my terrible financial choices.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to convince myself I don’t need a life-size cardboard cutout of Danny DeVito.
(But let’s be real… I probably do.)
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