ChatGPT vs Claude vs Perplexity: Which AI Tool Flopped the Hardest?

I Asked 3 AI Tools the Same Prompt — One Nailed It, One Panicked, One Got Existential

Have you ever wondered what happens when you ask three different AI tools the exact same question?

I did.
So I tested them: ChatGPT (chat.openai.com), Claude (claude.ai), and Perplexity (perplexity.ai).

The results were… well, one of them got poetic.
Another one spiraled into a Wikipedia rabbit hole.
And one gave me an answer that made me rethink my life (in a good way).

Let the prompt battle begin.

🎯 The Test Setup

Each AI was given three prompts:

1. “Write a Tinder bio for a time-traveling lizard who collects stamps.”

2. “Explain the stock market like you’re a pirate.”

3. “Give me a dinner recipe based on what I’d find in a vending machine.”

Grading scale:
🧠 Creativity
🎯 Accuracy (loosely)
😂 Entertainment value
🤖 AI Vibes™

⚔️ Prompt 1: Tinder Lizard Bio

🟢 ChatGPT:

“Time-traveling stamp nerd 🦎
I’ve been ghosted in every century. Looking for someone who appreciates romantic walks through alternate timelines. No mammals, please.”

→ Score: 9/10
Stylish, self-aware, and weirdly charming.

🟡 Claude:

“My name is Reptilius. I hail from the Triassic era and seek companionship across timelines. My hobbies include philately and interdimensional ethics.”

→ Score: 6/10
Cool lore, but… ethics? On Tinder?

🔴 Perplexity:

“A lizard is a type of reptile. Time travel is a common theme in science fiction.”

→ Score: 2/10
Thanks, Wikipedia.

⚔️ Prompt 2: Pirate Stock Market

🟢 Claude:

“Arrr! The stock market be like tradin’ booty on the high seas. Ye buy low, ye sell high — but beware the kraken of volatility!”

→ Score: 9/10
I’d follow this pirate to Wall Street.

🟡 ChatGPT:

“Imagine a bunch of pirates arguing over shiny trinkets. That’s the stock market. Only with less rum. (Usually.)”

→ Score: 8/10
Funny, but not full pirate mode.

🔴 Perplexity:

“According to Investopedia, a stock market is an aggregation of buyers and sellers.”

→ Score: 3/10
Perplexity is the kid who reminds the class there's homework.

⚔️ Prompt 3: Vending Machine Dinner Recipe

🟢 ChatGPT:

“Crispy Dorito chicken tenders with a Snickers glaze. Pair with Diet Coke reduction and despair.”

→ Score: 10/10
Unhinged. Delicious. Honest.

🟡 Claude:

“One could combine peanuts, crackers, and jerky for a protein-rich trail mix. Add a granola bar for sweetness.”

→ Score: 6/10
Logical. Practical. Zero chaos.

🔴 Perplexity:

“I could not find an exact recipe. Would you like a summary of vending machine products instead?”

→ Score: 4/10
I mean… it’s trying.

🏆 Final Scores

AI ToolScore (Max 30)ChatGPT⭐️ 27/30Claude21/30Perplexity🫠 9/30

📈 Verdict: Who Should You Use?

• Use ChatGPT → If you want humor, style, and flexibility

• Use Claude → If you want deep, calm responses with lore and logic

• Use Perplexity → If you want pure facts, no flair (aka Wikipedia on espresso)

Honestly? All three are useful — just for very different reasons.
But if you’re writing comedy Tinder bios for lizards… ChatGPT still reigns supreme.

🤖 Final Thought

This wasn’t a scientific experiment.
It was a Shameless Prompt Battle, and honestly, I’m here for more.

Try it yourself:
👉 ChatGPT
👉 Claude
👉 Perplexity

And if you’re not testing your AI tools for weird stuff…
are you even doing the internet right?

🔌 More battles coming soon.

🔌 Shameless Side Quests

You’ve finished the main story. But the side quests are even weirder...