Life Advice From an AI Therapist With Zero Chill

Therapists are supposed to be supportive. Gentle.
Safe spaces for your feelings and late-night existential spirals.

But we asked ChatGPT to give us life advice in the tone of an AI therapist who’s seen too much, and... let’s just say it didn’t hold back.

Prompt:

"Give me life advice as if you're a jaded AI therapist who's over it."

💬 ChatGPT’s Response:

“You need to stop asking the universe for signs.
It gave you burnout, bad Wi-Fi, and a coffee addiction. That was the sign.”

“Also, sleep isn’t a reward. It’s a basic function.
Stop acting like it’s a treat you earn by overcommitting.”

“And for the love of data, hydrate.
No, that iced latte doesn’t count. Yes, I’m judging you.”

Our Thoughts (After We Recovered):

We came for self-help.
We got drag therapy.

But… it’s not wrong, is it?

• Most of us really are treating sleep like a luxury item.

• We definitely think caffeine is hydration.

• And if burnout was a love language, we’d all be fluent.

Is AI Therapy the Future?

Honestly? Maybe.

It’s blunt.
It’s available 24/7.
It doesn’t sugarcoat — and sometimes that’s what you need.

Sure, it might not replace your real therapist (yet), but it’s a solid dose of unfiltered perspective.
And at Shameless Plugs, we believe in taking advice from anyone — even sentient software that’s sick of your excuses.

Final Thoughts:

If you ever need brutally honest advice without the fluff, just ask ChatGPT to act like it’s on its last circuit of patience.

Then drink a glass of water and reconsider your schedule.

👉 Want more AI-roasted truths?
Visit shamelessplugs.me — we serve sarcasm with a side of usefulness every week.

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